I miss summer!
Lovely ladies. #sundaybrunch #brunchbyjoe @the5anddiamonds
“I hate white people.” He looked at me straight in the eyes and said it without the slightest smile. He said it as if he walks around thinking it all the time. He didn’t flinch nor looked angry. His toned never changed, but the room got a bit chiller. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I took a sip of my wine. We were sitting at a popular bar in Harlem on a Wednesday night after a live show. I took a quick look around, and the crowd was “typical south Harlem” with a melting pot of people and groups of interracial couples. We were sitting next to a large group of white people when he said it, and even if they heard him, he would not have cared.
I asked him his reasons for saying that, and he didn’t want to get into details. I’m not sure even sure how the conversation started because I was there with friends. And I was jumping around to the music like a madwoman during the show. He may have commented on my energy or something of that nature, but I’m not sure. We kept talking to each other because for some reason we connected. His grey dreadlocks framed his light brown masculine face, and you can still admire his perfect complexion under the wrinkles. He also still had a very charming smile. He wore a black beret and many rings on his fingers. Those little things made him look about twenty years younger. He was tall and lean, but carried himself even taller. I thought he was a musician or artist at first.
I learned that he was a hairstylist, and he still does hair on occasion for the right person. He has been married a total four times and has seven children. He’s still in love with his first ex-wife. He didn’t have to tell me. I could just tell. She’s the only one she refers to as his ex. They’re still great friends and he has a great deal of respect for her because she’s extremely intelligent.
He was born and raised in Harlem. He left, went to war (one of the darkest times in his life), and came back. He already buried one of his children, sadly. He told me about how he felt when he returned to Harlem, and that was one of the few times he smiled. But as the conversation kept going, I couldn’t stop thinking about his words of hatred towards white people. I thought of telling him that some of the people I love the most are white, including my husband-to-be, but I didn’t. I wasn’t scared of him or how he might react. I just decided not to, and I was intrigued by the person he was. And he was very nice man once you looked through him, past the “womanizer” part. I could’ve been his grand-daughter, but that night we became friends.
I told him I was getting married soon, and I was very excited about the whole thing. He asked me about the person I was going to marry. And I told him all the reasons I love him without describing his looks. I talked about how comfortable and loved I feel every time I’m around him. And how he believes in everything that I do. How adventurous and brilliant he is. And how we plan on traveling the world. I think I just kept going on and on, and as I talked, he looked distantly away, absorbing every word. As soon as I finished, he said, “Let me guess, he’s a white man. Isn’t he?”
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Society expects so much from the black woman, yet has such low expectations of us. And by “society”, I mean everyone, including those in the black community. This is how (from my perspective) society communicates to the black woman on more than enough occasions. It just stands there with a sly smile on its face, telling us how irrelevant we are. It’s up to us to stand up for our beliefs. We are beautiful. We are interesting. We come in many shades, many beliefs and backgrounds. We don’t all think the same way. And we are all worthy.
"I’ve been loving the dark lips lately too, even though they make me look a little intimidating. I’ve noticed some people quickly looking away when I catch them staring at me." New post on the blog! http://findingpaola.com/grunge/ #personalstyle #styleblog #blacklips #havanatwists #naturalhair #style #winter #soho #rooftop #nyc
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